I can hardly hold my hand
Without thinking I’m not holding yours
I can hardly crack a smile
Without thinking I’ve wasted it on someone not you.
I keep feeling numb
Running finger nails down my chest.
And seething with a sadness that breathes love and redemption
I can hold out for years and years
I can hold nothing knowing the best has yet to come.
But a real heart strung across some words you gave
Has meant more than anyone else could ever do.
This day will wring out the blood from a past driven into the earth.
Please forgive the marks on my skin
They are the parts that I can’t seem to regret
The ways I tried to get through all these days
When I never had a you to help me through.
I know about hearts and the way they tangle
How an out stretched hand is more real
Than a postmarked letter
But I’ll always want you in the rawest form.
You as you, in pieces or together.
In broken shards or stained glass mirror.
