And yellow words
Taut like telephone wires
Dangling over my heart.
My eyes covered in silvery sad rings.
Where were you when i last died?
A hold-out like this
Could have been worth more
If only you had been honest with yourself
To make clear your intentions
About why I am worth words that breathe life.
I hand over memories to you
I want nothing like never before
You have a coffin full of me
And I don’t want another funeral
This time we’ll lay my ashes in the lazy water bath tub.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I am made of guilt and hands that shouldn’t have
i pay a debt to a hide ‘n seek game with an older neighbor girl.
Who found me hiding when I was only eight years old
Closets warm and dark with straight faced lies
And off color remarks that I didn’t understand
A single flinch, and a nose bleed because of it.
I still know pain made of a snake bite summer
When I was looking for my father’s pornography
Coffee cans and old warped cedar trunks
The smell won’t escape this part of me
The attic ladder shook as I climbed down
Screaming bloody murder through 275 parker street.
And a memory is what you have
When the past creeps into your heart
Another sad thought
About an uncle who shot himself
Sick with pneumonia and emphysema
Intravenous cords hanging from his limp body.
