3.13.06
I dissolve my head in the words you wake me with
Come over to my mystery and I will lay with you forever
Nothing has brought me constant joy like this sickness
I’ll stay ill with practiced prayers of selfishness
Let the worries I take to bed with me
Come back to life as I begin each day
No will ever wake me from this ungraceful coma
I want nothing more than this scuffed knee
And twisted ankle
I want nothing more
Than a pathetic self-centered lullaby
To put me to sleep.
I’m wired like an over hung poster
Too many times I’ve been taken down without care
And worn out with hurried hands
It’s time to remove these tacks
And put my in the closet.
This isn’t what I wanted.
I just want some simple misery
Something so fucking true I can’t see through these bored eyes.
3.13.06
I’ve pushed too hard
Through layers of me and you
What I do best
Is hide in words that you pretend to be impressed by
We’ll always have something dead
To bring back to life.
Well I’m not one of those things.
Just let me
Be married to the dirt
it feels so much more truer than yr hand or heart ever did.
I filled my hands with my hair and pull until I can hurt myself
Until I can’t feel the things you did
how blood tries to clot
But how I bury knives further into my flesh.
