6.8.05 12:52am
i should have got to you
i wanted to let you know
i always wish for more than god
and my little one is swimming in warmth
since the dawn of her early kiss
and her last moment bruise
my hand is over my mouth
my faith is in no one
my shame is my heart
i feel blood
i feel so many passer-byers
on-lookers
just right, not to say i knew you, or you knew me...
6.8.05 12:57am
i cannot hold my hand
without saving face
and that night we played our guitars and sang
that night we held our wine bottles by the neck like
beers
felt half-lifed and doing away
sacred moments that are fleeting
like heavy metal objects
my pants cover my scars
like battle wounds of the self-depraved
hell is my own heart, trapped in this selfish device
i own this
i knew yr kiss was nothing more and so much more
but what i do with yr love letters
that always make me cut myself
all the girls have boys that like punk rock music
but can't heave a heart like yrs
i am laid to rest, i am laid to my mirrors.
6.8.2005 7:03am
and my eyes wide and silvery
glazed and hued in the shade of yr smile
i have my faith in failed fathers and female versions
of myself
my sacredness is the shame of yr departure
yr sickness was my portion
to share with half-hearts and hold-on-to-sleeves
i take short glances at the skirt hanging in yr closet
when you leave me, it will be the first to be packed
away
for vampires that have drained my wrists
with false apertures and sutured kisses
stay-un-to-gether-ness
so many girls with my baby teeth and i want you back
anyone back,
anyone to remind of the things i can't remind myself,
i can't do this by myself...
6.8.05 7:10am
my kites and sad sea gulls
waved in the park
ouside to yr mom
we had to go to the lightpost
hands are held
hands are held
we should take slower steps
we should take our time
sun shone down on the prairie
we laughed about days
this swing will come back to you
faint of heart, kissing
embraced and held
embraced and held
we should keep this quiet
we should take our time
porch and homemade ice cream
slouched on the banister
save my spot next to you
we shall keep these days
quietly and held
quietly and held
we should be in love
we should take our time.
