with teeth like glass shards
i watched the ways she left
and how i came to know
youth and regression
truth and submission
and how i could
just give my hand to any passer-bye
and i would love to die tonight
get hit by the train john left on
almost one year ago...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the young words
of apologies
that smile backwords
and laugh youth away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
years of she said he said
i was in the basement
when i heard my mother let out her brilliant cackle
she was on her way to drunkeness,
to perfect nothingness.
i was cleaning my pants
to remove the stains from my step father
he never asked, but then again i never said no
and with the days spent hiding bruises
and bleaching nearly new underwear
i can cut pieces of the past
and patch in what can be
with the hopes of what you can't
and the truth of what already happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and christ could use a friend
more reliable than a saint
and more trustworthy than peter
who is to say that i wouldn't have drew that spear
or whipped his tattered back
i do it everyday
i do, i am always taking pieces of me and bleeding
into the resevior of the never
i probably would have kissed him on cheek
like judus
i would have taken my pieces of gold
and thrown it away on a prostitute
i am no better than this shit stain on the lawn
or the oil marks on the drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
martyrdom was an easy bake oven
yr heart resting without care
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
