Perfect mother and imperfect father
They could hold their hands
And push me away
Imperfect mother and perfect father
They could point a finger at me
And hold me close all the same.
I took my shoes out of the box
You have worn me new and bright
Making me proud of nothing left behind
False hope was made from you leaving.
And I am sick of trying to find you in others
When you held my hand to the receiver
And made me talk to my dead-beat father
I cried as he told me he was sorry
And it never mattered before
So why would it have mattered then?
My dad finding jesus making me feel the guilt he bore
My mother feeling regret for not finding the same savior.
I don’t know how to give an honest reply anymore
You can have my cold hand as we walk away
I am married to the false constructs you laid before me
Especially when you failed to show me how to forgive myself.
I still want peace from things that hurt more than I want to admit.
