and i just held this hand
for a wrist that could help me
my own never does me.
carving primordial cave designs on my flesh walls
like the modern day saint
nothing feels as false
as this.
my wounds that heal
become the reminders of what i am
not what i used to be.
and i bleed over the kitchen counter
because i need to clean up before anyone comes home
but there shouldn't be a face to see
until next week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and i believe in the failures of youth
how they form all of yr future functions
and that yr damned if you do
so why try at all.
we flesh out our histories
by looking back at our childhood memories
a partnerless life
is all i have to heave
over these broken shoulders.
i sit in my drunken state
and kiss my reflection
i'm waiting for this to end
if it wasn't for the bottle
i'd spend my life alone.
so i study my sadness
how my heart never tends to heal
because blood never clots
if yr constantly licking yr wounds.
